Hi friends and family,
Life has felt so hectic and out of control lately.
I learned a few useful tips this weekend for a happier, more calm life that I’d like to share with you!
Please visit me over at Bittersweet (link below) and share with your friends if you find this useful.
Hope life has been good to you all. I’d love to hear from you in my comments section.
Until next time, love each other
http://www.chicagonow.com/bittersweet/2014/10/how-you-can-transform-your-life-in-three-easy-steps/
Hi friends, family and followers:
This morning I wrote over at ChicagoNow Bittersweet.com about lessons to be learned from our “prisons.”
In life we will all find ourselves in prisons of all kinds -physical, emotional, mental, relational.
I believe there are lessons to be learned and reasons we are all dealing with all that we deal with.
I heard a message this weekend that helps make a little sense of it all.
Please click on link below and let me know you visited. I value your comments and feedback.
http://www.chicagonow.com/bittersweet/2013/04/breaking-free-from-our-prisons/
Hi friends – what a cold week it has been! I hope you all are keeping warm.
Please click over to Bittersweet and read my latest blog on true recovery versus celebrity (so-called) confessions. Please comment, click and share Bittersweet!
See you soon!
http://www.chicagonow.com/bittersweet/2013/01/true-humanity-in-the-face-of-recovery-not-celebrity/
Well it’s a new year (in a few hours) and I have a new adventure!
I am now writing for ChicagoNow under the name of Bittersweet. On this new site I will share thoughts and spin words as I see fit in the moment. I do hope you all will follow me over there and keep this adventure we call life moving along together! I will not be canceling this site as it keeps my work all linked up and tidy!
For my first blog in the new location I shared thoughts on the old year and the new year. (I know not very original on this day when writers everywhere are covering this topic, but we all have had different experiences and will likely have different angles to discuss and share.)
Happy New Year to everyone. Stay safe and well.
Love each other!
Visit me at this link below and let’s keep our friendship going!
I know I usually write once a week on Sunday or Monday, but I have this unwavering nagging in my heart. And I am filled with worry and sadness.
Remember the post I wrote a few weeks back about helping out someone this Christmas season with money?
Well, on Christmas Eve my family and I stopped in at a homeless shelter in Elgin Illinois on our way to the big Christmas Eve celebration with our family. It was a typical cold and gray Chicago winter day.
I let my mind be free and did not have a real plan as we drove there as to how I’d find the person to help with new warm socks and $100 I had in my pocket. I just wanted to be in the moment and let the Holy Spirit guide me. I prayed before I went there. I asked God to lead me to the person who would most need a little extra help on that day. Well truth is, obviously, if they are eating at a homeless shelter on Christmas Eve they all need help. I prayed that God would lead me to the person who would use the money in the best way for themselves.
Now, walking into the shelter there were quite a few men and women, different races and ages. All homeless. Then something, some energy, some supernatural source outside of my control led me to this beautiful little toddler and her mom. (IVE DELETED THEIR NAMES TO PROTECT THEM).
I knelt down and talked to the mom and her beautiful, big blue eyed, light blonde haired baby girl. She oozed sweetness. Mom had her all dressed up in a little Christmas dress, red ruffle socks, she looked all ready for Santa Clause. They were eating a desert of pumpkin pie. Mom looked tired and weary, but it showed that with the obvious little she had, she took great care of her baby girl, likely the only person in this whole world who gives her real, true, selfless love.
I commented on how pretty her girl was and asked how they were doing. I asked where they would sleep that night and the mom said they stay overnight in the shelter.
I asked her if I could do something for her and her daughter, if I could give them something. The mom looked at me a little suspicious. From my coat pocket I pulled out the new warm pair of fuzzy socks with $100 wrapped up in them. I opened up the socks just enough for her to see the $20 bills and said “I want to give this to you for you and your baby.” She was stunned. She said “This is so unexpected”, “I don’t know what possessed you this morning when you woke up to do this, but thank you, God Bless you.”
I really didn’t want her to feel bad and told her that we all need help sometimes and I was happy to help her and I hope it helps her and her baby.
We talked some more, she said she had been homeless for 4 months, she had been living with a boyfriend, the child’s dad, but he was abusive. She also said she has family in the area but that they were not an option to stay with. I asked what her plans were. I asked if she was looking for work, a place to live, she said all of the above.
I know they have to leave the shelter at 4 p.m. and then can return at 7 p.m. so I asked where do they go in those cold three hours. She said sometimes they’d go to the library.
Her baby started crying because she wanted the new socks her mom was holding onto in her tight grip. So now I felt bad, making her mom stress over her now crying baby. So, I gave the baby my gold necklace. This baby lit up, so happy!
Then I got a bit nervous, someone might notice me giving her money and put her in danger somehow. So I hugged her and her baby, said “Merry Christmas, God bless you.”
The baby followed us out toward the door……Mom came and got her and we said good-bye.
They went back to their pumpkin pie and I left and got into a nice, warm car, with my family and we all went to a wonderful Christmas party with loads of food, goodies and presents and lots and lots of love and laughter.
But I thought about the mother and her child, and where they were. And where were they the next night, the next night and where are they tonight? Are they safe? Are they warm?
I feel kind of guilty. My girls and I, even my dogs and cat, are warm and safe in our beds and we have a ton of good food at our disposal.
Now what?
What do I do?
Did I help her or did I make things worse for her? Will she find a warm, safe, soft place for her and her baby to call home?
On Christmas Day, my daughter, Emily, and I went to see Les Miserables. There is a scene where a man rescues a fragile, tired woman living in the streets and trying to make money to care for her baby daughter. He picks her up just as she is about to collapse, he holds her tight and he says “rest.”
I pray someone gives this mother and child rest.
Please pray for them and all the other homeless people out in the cold tonight.
Love each other.
I have to say what I am about to post this morning is not anything I was considering writing about. But I read this on Facebook this morning and my heart sank for this stranger and it just didn’t feel right to ignore the feeling.
How would you feel if you woke up this morning and read this on your Facebook wall?
“***** you are a piece of excrement…feces…the lowest form of life possible. You are the result of pedophile rape, a nasty bloody discharge on a Kleenex nobody wants. There is no lower form of like than your nasty, disgusting black a**. I hope you suffer a horrendous death from sickle cell, AIDS, or some other painful demise which only you could deserve. Rot in f****** hell (person’s name deleted here) you filthy piece of s***……”
This is an actual comment I just read on some celebrity’s page. I don’t know this celebrity or his/her work at all. I am not exactly sure what they have done that has drawn out this sort of hateful comment.
Whatever happened to what we learned as children? “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.”
I deleted the name for this person’s privacy, respect and out of pure empathy and sadness for whatever this person, the target of this anger, is going through. They are clearly not in a good place and this ugly comment, which I pray they never read, is only going to sink him/her deeper into his/her own self-loathing.
Then there was this on the same person’s page:
“I am praying for you (name deleted)…..that’s real talk. Some of your (work) is on some deep conscious and I can appreciate your mind ……God is able to do ALL things……ALL things.”
And there was this, though these types of comments, I’ll admit, were hard to find:
(Name deleted) “… hang in there where ever you are.”
I saw one incident that this person committed and it was ridiculous and mean. Absolutely, I am not excusing the bad behavior. But, I could see from the video there was something wrong with this person. He/she is clearly troubled and in need of some help, support, love. I think their behavior is the outside expression to what they are feeling inside about themselves and their life.
It can be hard to love or care about people like this person. I know. But truth is there are so many more people like him/her out in the world than those who are confident, loving and vested in themselves and others.
Truth is, we are one super large community and when one of us is hurt we are all hurt. And we all show our hurt in different ways. Some have people to love them through the hurt and pain so they don’t lash out against others, but more often, many do not. Many are alone with their personal demons and self-loathing.
I don’t even know this person, but the hateful comments are not going to help them to become better, more loving. They only confirm what they are already feeling about themselves. He/she does not feel loved, worthy, cared for, valued. These are the greatest gifts we can give to another human being.
When we see people down, ugly and nasty as they can be, let’s remember at one time they were someone’s little, gentle, innocent infant. That baby was only needing love and kindness. Maybe this person, this celebrity, is who he/she is today because he/she never received that love and kindness. Who knows.
This person is young, there is still a chance they will realize there is a better, more loving way to go through life.
I do hope he/she reads more of the positive messages on Facebook, though as I said they are hard to find.
So, then what does that say about the authors of the nasty comments?
I know it’s hard, but we need to love those who seem the least deserving, or even accepting of love.
I think when people are in the worst stages of their bad behavior, they are truly begging, screaming out for our love.
They are like infants again and all they need is a warm, soft place to fall.
Please, let’s all do better.
Like, comment, share and see you next week!
As we should all know by now, Neil Armstrong, the first man to step on the moon, died in August. He was 82. And from all accounts that I have read he was a good man who lived his life quite modestly after doing something that changed, maybe connected the entire world, if only for a little while.
For this Blog entry I literrally scoured the internet and read about a dozen obits on this man.
I did this because when he died, there was one graph in one of the many, many tributes to him that hit me on such an emotional level.
A feeling that I still have not been able to shake. And I believe it is worth reprinting and discussing and sharing with the “blogasphere” why it touched me so.
I finally found it at the end of a piece written on Aug. 26 in USA Today.
Here it is:
For those who may ask what they can do to honor Neil, we have a simple request,” his family said in a Saturday statement. “Honor his example of service, accomplishment and modesty, and the next time you walk outside on a clear night and see the moon smiling down at you, think of Neil Armstrong and give him a wink.”
Oh man, it happened again! I got that lump in my throat re-reading this.
Why?
Because the idea, the visual this presents to me is so simple, yet so so so grandiose.
One thing is, I have always seen the face of the man in the moon. And so many times, since I was a child, I remember asking others if they see a face in the moon. And, not everyone does. I could never wrap my head around that.
The other thing is this.
There is one moon, billions maybe zillions of people in this world, again just one moon. OK, we see it at different times of the night. There is one Big Dipper, one Little Dipper, one of each unique, brilliant star in each of its little own endlessly dark piece of the sky. (Please stay with me here)
I have dear friends and family in many parts of this country. Sometimes I wonder as I look up at the sky at night and take in the beauty and the wonderment of the Big Dipper, the Little Dipper, the moon, that one little super shiny star, that I think is a planet, that sets just to the bottom right of the moon… I wonder sometimes, are any of my dear, long-lost friends or family in other parts of this country looking at that part of the sky at that very same moment. And we just recently had that beautiful, magical Harvest Moon display, and I wondered the same thing. Is anyone out there looking at it and taking in all of its magic at the same time I am.
And if they were would we not be connected in that very moment?
When I was 11 years old, I met my biological father for the first time. Before meeting him I never even knew his name, never even knew he existed. Further, I never even knew that I was not who I had long believed I was. It was– and still is– quite complicated and hard to work through.
The reason I bring this up, is this – I remember in the months and couple of years afterward– after meeting this man, this stranger, this man who added so much confusion, pain to an already tumultuous existence–looking up at the sky sometimes and wondering if he was looking at the same part of the evening sky and thinking of me. I particularly recall one New Year’s Eve, shortly after meeting him, when the town was doing fireworks and fire crackers right at Midnight, and I went outside…There were people and noise makers everywhere, noises from all parts of town, I felt so alone. And I wondered where he was and if he was looking up at the night sky too.
I wondered in my young mind, if before he met me did he ever look up at that vast sky and wonder where I was. Did he wonder, was his child also looking up at the sky, the moon, the man in the moon? Did she see the man in the moon even?
Did he see the man in the moon?
Did we share that?
Did he care?
I’ll never know any of these answers. And the thought of this, me as a confused and sad child not knowing who she really is or whether or not it even matters to anyone, who she really is, makes me so sad.
So now as an adult, now that I have control over my life, and a loose handle on my emotions, I take these same moments when looking up at the evening sky and think of old friends, relatives who make me happy and confident and secure, people who made me laugh, smile, dance. People who love me and make me feel love. And those who may be far away, but still close in my heart and I think- what are they looking at right now? Are they seeing what I am seeing? Do they see the face of the man in the full, bright moon? Are they giving old Neil a wink?
I know, I am.
What do you think of when you look up at the evening sky? Do you see the man in the moon?
Please share thoughts, comments, likes or dislikes, click “follow” and share.
See you next week. 🙂
Last week went straight to the dogs!
No, seriously.
I worked on a number of stories last week and three of them had to do with dogs.
I worked on these stories while two of my own pups, Lucy and Minnie, rested at my feet. Awesome working conditions, huh?!
One story had to do with one man’s search for the link between dogs, humans and cancers. 2 Million Dogs raises awareness of the possible environmental links between dogs, humans and cancers. This mission was started by Luke Robinson after suffering the loss of his beautiful Pyrenees, named Malcolm to cancer. He later put to rest another furry buddy named Murphy. He said he wants to know why his best friends-and zillions of other dogs, cats and humans die from cancer. (This full story will appear in Health and Family section of the Chicago Tribune Wednesday Oct. 10)
The other story had to do with how pet owners can learn a dog’s parentage through DNA testing. By learning exactly what breeds your dog is made of will help in knowing what illnesses, common injuries and other important information to watch out for. (The test cost about $150 and is available at most vet clinics, full story will be out next month in the Chicago Tribune)
The third story was about Shakira, a beautiful Siberian Husky with piercing blue eyes who disappeared from her family in Georgia five years ago. It’s unclear where she was for that five years, but she eventually was sent from a shelter in Georgia up to Harvard Illinois to a Siberian Husky rescue. While at that shelter, she was scanned and an identification chip was found under her skin. The family back in Georgia was finally notified. The last time they had seen this beautiful dog was when she was just 1. They never knew what happened to her, but they likely never stopped thinking about her or loving her.
So after receiving a call from the shelter that their dog was alive and well, Shakira’s human mamma drove 14 hours, straight through the night, to get her back. The reunion was swift and they turned around and headed right back home to where three children were waiting to reunite with their dog.
Wow!
Where was she all that time? Why was she not scanned by the shelter in Georgia five years ago? Or, if she was not at the shelter all that time, where was she? And how did a shelter in Harvard Illinois, more than 700 miles away from Georgia, get involved anyway?
Many questions went unanswered because the dog and her owner left so quickly after their reunion and Shakira’s owner never returned my calls for the story.
But on the important side, the family is reunited. In the photos provided by the McHenry County shelter, the dog looked beautiful, healthy and her human mamma, she looked so happy, relieved, and well, tired.(story and photos on-line at ChicagoTribune.com)
Again, what was learned, what was observed here in this last week?
Well, first off, I can say that I for sure, without a doubt, have the very best working conditions, the most attentive and loyal assistants.
When a human loved one or a pet gets cancer we want to know why. We need to feel that we are doing what ever we can to learn how to save them. We fund studies, create organizations, participate in walks, to find the answers as to “why” and learn “how” can we fix them.
When we really love another person– or a pet– so much, we want to learn everything there is to know about them. We want to know how best to care for them and keep them with us for as long as possible.
There is no love like the love a parent has for her child —or for her pets. As if a child were lost to us, emotionally or physically, when a dog is lost, no matter how long he or she is away, or how far they travel, they never stop being part of our family.
And when we love a pet so much -as we love our two-legged children- and suffer their loss only to learn they are still in this world with us, there is no distance too far to travel to retrieve that little furry piece of our heart.
Let’s see what this week’s news brings. See you next Monday!
(Please click “follow” then share and leave a comment!)
Amanda Marrazzo 