Christmas

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Mystery on Johnsburg Road: How it all Began

It was 2002, five days before Christmas.

My 13 siblings were all in different stages of their lives, some living on their own and some with their own spouses and kids. All were preparing to make the trek home to Johnsburg Il. for our big Irish Catholic family Christmas feast.

I still lived at home with my mom and dad, and a couple of the younger siblings in our small rural town located near the Wisconsin border. I grew up surrounded by lots of family, and cool wooded areas and rivers to explore.

I love my big family and they love me.

I was excited for Christmas. It was my favorite holiday. I loved helping to hang lights and decorate the tree. Mom already had a wrapped present for me under the tree.

Dec. 20, 2002 was the last day of school before Christmas break. It was a Friday and although I didn’t have to work that day, at about 6:30 p.m. I left my big white farmhouse style home where I lived for the last -and only- 17 years of my life.

I didn’t walk far. I just crossed the road to the grocery store. The store I grew up seeing everyday outside our family’s living room window. I’d worked there as a stock boy. I loved that job. Many of my siblings also worked there over the years.

The grocery store was owned by another large, well-known family from the area.

Our families were close — at one time.

I passed my older brother Eddie on my way into the store as he was going out to the parking lot to gather grocery carts.

He never saw me again.

A few employees working that night said they saw me in the store. But no one ever said they saw me outside the store again after that night.

My blood was found pooled in a produce cooler and spattered on boxes and walls leading to a back door exit. My blood also was found on boxes in an outside dumpster.

My blood.

But I was no where to be found.

All the searching. All the praying. All the tears and candlelight vigils. All the rumors, accusations, finger pointing and courtroom dramas.

I have never been found.

(Watch an update to the latest twist on ABC 2020 9 p.m CT Saturday Jan. 2)

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Mother and child on a cold Christmas Eve

I know I usually write once a week on Sunday or Monday, but I have this unwavering nagging in my heart. And I am filled with worry and sadness.

Remember the post I wrote a few weeks back about helping out someone this Christmas season with money?

Well, on Christmas Eve my family and I stopped in at a homeless shelter in Elgin Illinois on our way to the big Christmas Eve celebration with our family.  It was a typical cold and gray Chicago winter day.

I let my mind be free and did not have a real plan as we drove there as to how I’d find the person to help with new warm socks and $100 I had in my pocket. I just wanted to be in the moment and let the Holy Spirit guide me. I prayed before I went there. I asked God to lead me to the person who would most need a little extra help on that day. Well truth is, obviously, if they are eating at a homeless shelter on Christmas Eve they all need help. I prayed that God would lead me to the person who would use the money  in the best way for themselves.

Now, walking into the shelter there were quite a few men and women, different races and ages. All homeless. Then something, some energy, some supernatural source outside of my control led me to this beautiful little toddler  and her mom. (IVE DELETED THEIR NAMES TO PROTECT THEM).

I knelt down and talked to the mom and her beautiful, big blue eyed, light blonde  haired baby girl. She oozed sweetness.  Mom had her all dressed up in a little Christmas dress, red ruffle socks, she looked all ready for Santa Clause. They were eating a desert of pumpkin pie. Mom looked tired and weary, but it showed that with the obvious little she had, she took great care of her  baby girl, likely the only person in this whole world who gives her real, true, selfless love.

I commented on how pretty her girl was and asked how they were doing. I asked where they would sleep that night and the mom said they stay overnight in the shelter.

I asked her if I could do something for her and her daughter, if I could give them something. The mom looked at me a little suspicious. From my coat pocket I pulled out the new warm pair of fuzzy socks with $100 wrapped up in them. I opened up the socks just enough for her to see the $20 bills and said “I want to give this to you for you and your baby.” She was stunned. She said “This is so unexpected”, “I don’t know what possessed you this morning when you woke up to do this, but thank you, God Bless you.”

I really didn’t want her to feel bad and told her that we all need help sometimes and I was happy to help her and I hope it helps her and her baby.

We talked some more, she said she had been homeless for 4 months, she had been living with a boyfriend, the child’s dad, but he was abusive. She also said she has family in the area but that they were not an option to stay with. I asked what her plans were. I asked if she was looking for work, a place to live, she said all of the above.

I know they have to leave the shelter at 4 p.m. and then can return at 7 p.m. so I asked where do they go in those cold three hours. She said sometimes they’d go to the library.

Her baby started crying because she wanted the new socks her mom was holding onto in her tight grip. So now I felt bad, making her mom stress over her now crying baby. So, I gave the baby my gold necklace. This baby lit up, so happy!

Then I got a bit nervous, someone might notice me giving her money and put her in danger somehow. So I hugged her and her baby, said “Merry Christmas, God bless you.”

The baby followed us out toward the door……Mom came and got her and we said good-bye.

They went back to their pumpkin pie and I left and got into a nice, warm car, with my family and we all went to a wonderful Christmas party with loads of food, goodies and presents and lots and lots of love and laughter.

But I thought about the mother and her child, and where they were. And where were they the next night, the next night and where are they tonight? Are they safe? Are they warm?

I feel kind of guilty. My girls and I, even my dogs and cat, are warm and safe in our beds and we have a ton of  good food at our disposal.

Now what?

What do I do?

Did I help her or did I make things worse for her? Will she find a warm, safe, soft place for her and her baby to call home?

On Christmas Day, my daughter, Emily, and I went to see Les Miserables. There is a scene where a man rescues a fragile, tired woman living in the streets and trying to make money to care for her baby daughter. He picks her up just as she is about to collapse, he holds her tight and he says “rest.”

I pray someone gives this mother and child rest.

Please pray for them and all the other homeless people out in the cold tonight.

Love each other.

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Merry Christmas, this is what I know

As I sit here in our warm home on the eve before Christmas Eve, with a fire burning in the fireplace,  the yummy smell of food being prepared for the next couple of days of holiday celebrations, and  presents all wrapped up and under the Christmas tree, I think about what I’ve learned or was reminded of this Christmas season.

People I love are invaluable, irriplaceable. (This may sound mundane, but really take some time to read this and let it soak in.)

Life’s most important lessons are not complicated.

My family is wonderful, precious, sacred. (Again see info in parentheses above)

Even though our family is not perfect, I really miss my mom and dad who are far away from me this Christmas.

I learned that I should never live as if I know everything about what is going to happen next. Meaning that there are plans in the works and I will not ever know all the details. So, I should always live as if the next thing around the corner is going to be awesome!

I learned that I too matter to others.

I was reminded that there is a certain type of wicked evil in the world, but there is also way more goodness and kindness than there is this evil.

People are all capable of good and evil. It is a choice on how you want to exist in this world.

I learned that I can help other people with simple acts. There are things I may unwittingly say or do that will change a person’s day for the good -or the bad (I’m not perfect). This reminds me to be aware of how I interact in the world as to never make someone’s day worse.

I was reminded that no matter how hard we try, we simply cannot protect our children from all forms of harm, cruelty, hatred. We must show them even more love and kindness inside our homes to make up for what  they see out in the world, in school, on TV.

I learned that, although I do like to get presents as does everyone this time of year, there really is nothing I really need or want this Christmas that is not inside this house with me at this very moment — Tony, Emily, Abby, Minnie, Maggie and Lucy — and the people outside this house whom I love more than words or things can express. That’s a very long list!

Sometimes when I think this is the best it will get, and there is nothing better to come into my family, home, work – something else wonderful happens! This is the fun part of life!

Oh, and the most important lesson – I  was once again reminded that when Kohl’s screams at me from my TV to get into the store for this one and only and final “One-Day Sale!!” they are lying! There are One-Day Sales at Kohl’s every day! (Lying liars!)

What did you learn in these last few weeks.

Merry Christmas. Love each other.

(PS I’ll soon be blogging for ChicagoNow, I’ll keep you posted. Thank you for all of your support!)