love

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Learning lessons, breaking free from our prisons

Hi friends, family and followers:

This morning I wrote over at ChicagoNow Bittersweet.com about lessons to be learned from our “prisons.”

In life we will all find ourselves in prisons of all kinds -physical, emotional, mental, relational.

I believe there are lessons to be learned and reasons we are all dealing with all that we deal with.

I heard a message this weekend that helps make a little sense of it all.

Please click on link below and let me know you visited. I value your comments and feedback.

http://www.chicagonow.com/bittersweet/2013/04/breaking-free-from-our-prisons/

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Time passages

Hi family, friends and followers:

Please click on link below and visit me over at Bittersweet on ChicagoNow. I shared a post on a few things rambling through my head today about love, loss and time. I know it sounds sad and depressing, but I don’t mean it to.

I just want answers and I have these thoughts, and I want to hear your thoughts as well…I think we all need to stop and think about these things sometimes. After all, life is Bittersweet! We are all in this together!!

http://www.chicagonow.com/bittersweet/2013/04/time-marches-too-quick-too-slow/

Please click like, follow, share, sign in with your email here and on Bittersweet so I can track who has visited.

Until next time……

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Small Midwest town, young boy, decade old mystery – no body

Well I spent a wonderful weekend with my girls thanks to my wonderful husband! Abby is doing great and I thank you all for your prayers.

We seem to be slowly returning back to normal…Abby’s next doctor’s appointment is April 3. Will update.

Back to work for me this week, while Tony stays home to keep an eye on the girls.  I am looking forward to covering this murder trial, for a second time. The justice system is fascinating and this story is something I’d watch on Investigative Discovery. People in these two families and this small rural Midwest town are still hanging on to see it all conclude.

After more than 10 years, a trial that ended in a mistrial with a hung jury, dozens of rumors, a perjury trial, the death of the missing boy’s mother and the lead investigator, this story continues.  People fight for justice. But even more so I see how being young and impulsive and being in the wrong place at the wrong time can destroy lives and a community, and magnify its love. I’d love to hear your feedback on this story. If interested I will continue to post updates from court for the next two weeks.

My pre-trial story below.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/chi-brian-carrick-murder-trial-20130324,0,6812344.story

Until next time, love each other.

Like, share, follow let me know you stopped by!

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Emily and Abby – working and achieving gracefully

Hi friends please visit Bittersweet on ChicagoNow. We, as a family, have been so all-consumed these past few months with Emily’s show and Abby’s dance competitions (as I know most families are busy with their own children right now).

This morning, with a few calm hours until I start running them here and there, I wanted to pause and  share a tale of their hard work and well-deserved achievements. I know, we as parents sometimes complain that things are so busy, but I have to remind myself that this timeframe right here, right now with my daughters is so fleeting. Soon they will be gone and I won’t know, or have much of a role in their lives.

I just want them both to know how much I really do appreciate them and recognize all of their hard work.

Please click on, or paste the link below in your browser. I’d love for you to share your stories with me of your own busy families and your kids’ hard work and well-deserved achievements.

http://www.chicagonow.com/bittersweet/2013/02/emily-and-abby-hard-work-paying-off-beautifully/

Until next time….

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Sunday Church inspires, renews,

 

Hi all, please visit Chicago Now Bittersweet and read my post inspired after being spiritually “pushed” into going to church today!

If you read Bittersweet last night, you know why I needed a little nudge this morning! But I am grateful  I “felt” the nudge and went.

Please share the story with me.

Read, share, “like”. Please let me know you visited on the blog site itself. I am having such a tough time figuring out if anyone is visiting!

Thank you

http://www.chicagonow.com/bittersweet/2013/01/made-it-to-church-today-reminded-of-a-very-important-lesson/

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I’ve added a new adventure! Won’t you all join me?

 

Well it’s a new year (in a few hours) and I have a new adventure!

I am now writing for ChicagoNow under the name of Bittersweet. On this new site I will share thoughts and spin words as I see fit in the moment. I do hope you all will follow me over there and keep this adventure we call life moving along together! I will not be canceling this site as it keeps my work all linked up and tidy!

For my first blog in the new location I shared thoughts on the old year and the new year. (I know not very original on this day when writers everywhere are covering this topic, but we all have had different experiences and will likely have different angles to discuss and share.)

Happy New Year to everyone. Stay safe and well.

Love each other!

Visit me at this link below and let’s keep our friendship going!

http://www.chicagonow.com/bittersweet/

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Mother and child on a cold Christmas Eve

I know I usually write once a week on Sunday or Monday, but I have this unwavering nagging in my heart. And I am filled with worry and sadness.

Remember the post I wrote a few weeks back about helping out someone this Christmas season with money?

Well, on Christmas Eve my family and I stopped in at a homeless shelter in Elgin Illinois on our way to the big Christmas Eve celebration with our family.  It was a typical cold and gray Chicago winter day.

I let my mind be free and did not have a real plan as we drove there as to how I’d find the person to help with new warm socks and $100 I had in my pocket. I just wanted to be in the moment and let the Holy Spirit guide me. I prayed before I went there. I asked God to lead me to the person who would most need a little extra help on that day. Well truth is, obviously, if they are eating at a homeless shelter on Christmas Eve they all need help. I prayed that God would lead me to the person who would use the money  in the best way for themselves.

Now, walking into the shelter there were quite a few men and women, different races and ages. All homeless. Then something, some energy, some supernatural source outside of my control led me to this beautiful little toddler  and her mom. (IVE DELETED THEIR NAMES TO PROTECT THEM).

I knelt down and talked to the mom and her beautiful, big blue eyed, light blonde  haired baby girl. She oozed sweetness.  Mom had her all dressed up in a little Christmas dress, red ruffle socks, she looked all ready for Santa Clause. They were eating a desert of pumpkin pie. Mom looked tired and weary, but it showed that with the obvious little she had, she took great care of her  baby girl, likely the only person in this whole world who gives her real, true, selfless love.

I commented on how pretty her girl was and asked how they were doing. I asked where they would sleep that night and the mom said they stay overnight in the shelter.

I asked her if I could do something for her and her daughter, if I could give them something. The mom looked at me a little suspicious. From my coat pocket I pulled out the new warm pair of fuzzy socks with $100 wrapped up in them. I opened up the socks just enough for her to see the $20 bills and said “I want to give this to you for you and your baby.” She was stunned. She said “This is so unexpected”, “I don’t know what possessed you this morning when you woke up to do this, but thank you, God Bless you.”

I really didn’t want her to feel bad and told her that we all need help sometimes and I was happy to help her and I hope it helps her and her baby.

We talked some more, she said she had been homeless for 4 months, she had been living with a boyfriend, the child’s dad, but he was abusive. She also said she has family in the area but that they were not an option to stay with. I asked what her plans were. I asked if she was looking for work, a place to live, she said all of the above.

I know they have to leave the shelter at 4 p.m. and then can return at 7 p.m. so I asked where do they go in those cold three hours. She said sometimes they’d go to the library.

Her baby started crying because she wanted the new socks her mom was holding onto in her tight grip. So now I felt bad, making her mom stress over her now crying baby. So, I gave the baby my gold necklace. This baby lit up, so happy!

Then I got a bit nervous, someone might notice me giving her money and put her in danger somehow. So I hugged her and her baby, said “Merry Christmas, God bless you.”

The baby followed us out toward the door……Mom came and got her and we said good-bye.

They went back to their pumpkin pie and I left and got into a nice, warm car, with my family and we all went to a wonderful Christmas party with loads of food, goodies and presents and lots and lots of love and laughter.

But I thought about the mother and her child, and where they were. And where were they the next night, the next night and where are they tonight? Are they safe? Are they warm?

I feel kind of guilty. My girls and I, even my dogs and cat, are warm and safe in our beds and we have a ton of  good food at our disposal.

Now what?

What do I do?

Did I help her or did I make things worse for her? Will she find a warm, safe, soft place for her and her baby to call home?

On Christmas Day, my daughter, Emily, and I went to see Les Miserables. There is a scene where a man rescues a fragile, tired woman living in the streets and trying to make money to care for her baby daughter. He picks her up just as she is about to collapse, he holds her tight and he says “rest.”

I pray someone gives this mother and child rest.

Please pray for them and all the other homeless people out in the cold tonight.

Love each other.

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Merry Christmas, this is what I know

As I sit here in our warm home on the eve before Christmas Eve, with a fire burning in the fireplace,  the yummy smell of food being prepared for the next couple of days of holiday celebrations, and  presents all wrapped up and under the Christmas tree, I think about what I’ve learned or was reminded of this Christmas season.

People I love are invaluable, irriplaceable. (This may sound mundane, but really take some time to read this and let it soak in.)

Life’s most important lessons are not complicated.

My family is wonderful, precious, sacred. (Again see info in parentheses above)

Even though our family is not perfect, I really miss my mom and dad who are far away from me this Christmas.

I learned that I should never live as if I know everything about what is going to happen next. Meaning that there are plans in the works and I will not ever know all the details. So, I should always live as if the next thing around the corner is going to be awesome!

I learned that I too matter to others.

I was reminded that there is a certain type of wicked evil in the world, but there is also way more goodness and kindness than there is this evil.

People are all capable of good and evil. It is a choice on how you want to exist in this world.

I learned that I can help other people with simple acts. There are things I may unwittingly say or do that will change a person’s day for the good -or the bad (I’m not perfect). This reminds me to be aware of how I interact in the world as to never make someone’s day worse.

I was reminded that no matter how hard we try, we simply cannot protect our children from all forms of harm, cruelty, hatred. We must show them even more love and kindness inside our homes to make up for what  they see out in the world, in school, on TV.

I learned that, although I do like to get presents as does everyone this time of year, there really is nothing I really need or want this Christmas that is not inside this house with me at this very moment — Tony, Emily, Abby, Minnie, Maggie and Lucy — and the people outside this house whom I love more than words or things can express. That’s a very long list!

Sometimes when I think this is the best it will get, and there is nothing better to come into my family, home, work – something else wonderful happens! This is the fun part of life!

Oh, and the most important lesson – I  was once again reminded that when Kohl’s screams at me from my TV to get into the store for this one and only and final “One-Day Sale!!” they are lying! There are One-Day Sales at Kohl’s every day! (Lying liars!)

What did you learn in these last few weeks.

Merry Christmas. Love each other.

(PS I’ll soon be blogging for ChicagoNow, I’ll keep you posted. Thank you for all of your support!)

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Airplanes, bullets and broken promises

I read an article in the Chicago Tribune today about a number of airplane crashes in the Chicago neighborhoods surrounding Midway Airport. Many people have been killed by airplanes literally falling out of the sky. The story went on to tell of tales people shared with newspaper reporters at the time.

They shared stories of deep anguish and heartache searching for loved ones only to find pieces of them and bloodied remains. One story told of how some died from an airplane falling from the sky and crashing through their homes. People died as they lay asleep in their own beds. A young mother was thrown from an airplane and died while her two daughters lived.

On Saturday, I attended a funeral of a 47-year-old mother of two children. Her husband came home from work and found her dying in her chair. At the funeral, five days later, doctors could still not explain why she died. She was fine, her husband said. He spoke to her on the phone just ten minutes before he got home from work and recalled the last thing he said to her was “I love you.”

A friend of this woman’s said she read her Facebook post on Sunday, the day before she died. It read that she was hanging her laundry outside and enjoying the beautiful weather on a lovely December day. She was just living her life, hanging her laundry, enjoying the oddly warm weather.

And, once again the news reported stories tonight covering the countless numbers of shootings in the city. The senseless deaths of many young people who have yet to even know what their future could have been. Many simply found themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Something came to mind today with all these stories bouncing around in front of me.

A couple of years ago this friend of mine named Gina contacted me out of the blue on Facebook. We had not talked for nearly 20 years. At one time we saw each other every day. We had such a great friendship but then life changed and I went one way and she went another. So, when she found me on Facebook I was thrilled. She asked to meet for lunch and we met and had a wonderful conversation about the last 20 years of our lives. We laughed about silly things and talked about old friends and funny moments.

She asked me why we had stopped being friends and asked if she had done something to ruin our friendship. I said of course not. And I recall now having to have to reassure her that she never did anything wrong or hurtful to me.

She also told me that she was dealing with breast cancer, but said that she was at the end of her treatment and was recovering. She really downplayed the whole thing and led me to believe she was on the upswing.

We parted ways that day with a big, warm hug and promised, for sure, we’d see each other again soon.

Well we never did keep that promise.  We never even talked on the phone, not even on Facebook.

About a year later, another friend called me to say Gina had died.

The next time I saw her was at her funeral.

There are so many people I think of often. Friends who I truly love and care about and miss, but don’t see or even talk to as much as I’d like. The reasons are  real and common – they live far away, or have the details of life keeping them running in a thousand different directions each day. And I too have a full schedule of life obligations.

But stories like planes falling from the sky, bullets flying through the air and unforgiving illnesses unexpectedly stopping the beating of a friend’s heart, remind me that I need to do better.

So for all my dear friends who read this, who I have not spoken to lately, please know I love you and I will try and do better. For those of you who do not know me, but have friends you have not seen or spoken to in a while, maybe this story will remind you to do a little better too.

Because when I got that call that Gina died, and realized that we had not kept our promise…..  . It was just too late.

Share, like, comment. See you next week.

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The Bad Celebrity and Facebook

I have to say what I am about to post this morning is not anything I was considering writing about. But I read this on Facebook this morning and my heart sank for this stranger and it just didn’t feel right to ignore the feeling.

How would you feel if you woke up this morning and read this on your Facebook wall?

 “***** you are a piece of excrement…feces…the lowest form of life possible. You are the result of pedophile rape, a nasty bloody discharge on a Kleenex nobody wants. There is no lower form of like than your nasty, disgusting black a**. I hope you suffer a horrendous death from sickle cell, AIDS, or some other painful demise which only you could deserve. Rot in f****** hell (person’s name deleted here) you filthy piece of s***……”

This is an actual comment I just read on some celebrity’s page. I don’t know this celebrity or his/her work at all. I am not exactly sure what they  have done that has drawn out this sort of hateful comment.

Whatever happened to what we learned as children? “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.”

I deleted the name for this person’s privacy, respect and out of pure empathy and sadness for whatever this person, the target of this anger, is going through. They are clearly not in a good place and this ugly comment, which I pray they never read, is only going to sink him/her deeper into his/her own self-loathing.

Then there was this on the same person’s page:

“I am praying for you (name deleted)…..that’s real talk. Some of your (work) is on some deep conscious and I can appreciate your mind ……God is able to do ALL things……ALL things.”

And there was this, though these types of comments, I’ll admit, were hard to find:

(Name deleted) “… hang in there where ever you are.”

I saw one incident that this person committed and it was ridiculous and mean. Absolutely, I am not excusing the bad behavior. But,  I could see from the video there was something wrong with this person. He/she is clearly troubled and in need of some help, support, love. I think their behavior is the outside expression to what they are feeling inside about themselves and their life.

It can be hard to love or care about people like this person. I know.  But truth is there are so many more people like him/her out in the world than those who are confident, loving and vested in themselves and others.

Truth is, we are one super large community and when one of us is hurt we are all hurt. And we all show our hurt in different ways. Some have people to love them through the hurt and pain so they don’t lash out against others, but more often, many do not. Many are alone with their personal demons and self-loathing.

I don’t even know this person, but the hateful comments are not going to help them to become better, more loving. They only confirm what they are already feeling about themselves. He/she does not feel loved, worthy, cared for, valued. These are the greatest gifts we can give to another human being.

When we see people down, ugly and nasty as they can be, let’s remember at one time they were someone’s little, gentle, innocent infant. That baby was only needing love and kindness. Maybe this person, this celebrity,  is who he/she is today because he/she never received that love and kindness. Who knows.

This person is young, there is still a chance they will realize there is a better, more loving way to go through life.

I do hope he/she reads more of the positive messages on Facebook, though as I said they are hard to find.

So, then what does that say about the authors of the nasty comments?

I know it’s hard, but we need to love those who seem the least deserving, or even accepting of love.

I think when people are in the worst stages of their bad behavior, they are truly begging, screaming out for our love.

They are like infants again and all they need is a warm, soft place to fall.

Please, let’s all do better.

Like, comment, share and see you next week!