Author: Amanda Marrazzo

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Where was God?

Where was God this week?

Where was God on Friday morning about 9:30 a.m. East Coast time? Was He shopping at the mall? Was He in a traffic jam? Was He on vacation? Was He sitting at his desk? Was He just not paying attention? Did He not know that some lunatic with guns was breaking windows to enter into a school and then murdering precious little children?

How dare He not be there. How dare God not keep them safe.

I think this is a normal reaction, whether you are a good, faithful Christian or not.

But here is my answer, I believe God was there. He was in that elementary building with his arms wrapped so tight around all of those innocent children and their loving teachers who fought so hard, many with their lives, to protect His most beloved. He carried their tender souls to Heaven where He had already prepared them a new home.

I know He was there. Then He was with the parents of the children, when they fell to their knees weeping in unspeakable pain. He was there.

I must trust what the Bible teaches me. He was, and is, and always will be there.

One day we will know why this happened. One day He will tell us.

It will not ever heal the way we, as a nation, need to be healed, the way the mommies of those babies desperately need to be healed. Not now anyways.

I keep going back to this one thought. On Saturday morning those mommies woke up and their babies were not tucked safe in their beds, as they very well should have been.

But what gets me through? What makes me not turn against God?

I believe they were in God’s arms in Heaven Saturday morning. And I believe they watched with unspeakable love as their mommies wept. I believe they were holding their mommies as God was holding onto them. And they were once again safe.

See you next week. Until then hold onto your loved ones as God is holding onto you this very moment.

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Amanda Marrazzo's avatarAmanda Marrazzo

I read an article in the Chicago Tribune today about a number of airplane crashes in the Chicago neighborhoods surrounding Midway Airport. Many people have been killed by airplanes literally falling out of the sky. The story went on to tell of tales people shared with newspaper reporters at the time.

They shared stories of deep anguish and heartache searching for loved ones only to find pieces of them and bloodied remains. One story told of how some died from an airplane falling from the sky and crashing through their homes. People died as they lay asleep in their own beds. A young mother was thrown from an airplane and died while her two daughters lived.

On Saturday, I attended a funeral of a 47-year-old mother of two children. Her husband came home from work and found her dying in her chair. At the funeral, five days later, doctors could…

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Airplanes, bullets and broken promises

I read an article in the Chicago Tribune today about a number of airplane crashes in the Chicago neighborhoods surrounding Midway Airport. Many people have been killed by airplanes literally falling out of the sky. The story went on to tell of tales people shared with newspaper reporters at the time.

They shared stories of deep anguish and heartache searching for loved ones only to find pieces of them and bloodied remains. One story told of how some died from an airplane falling from the sky and crashing through their homes. People died as they lay asleep in their own beds. A young mother was thrown from an airplane and died while her two daughters lived.

On Saturday, I attended a funeral of a 47-year-old mother of two children. Her husband came home from work and found her dying in her chair. At the funeral, five days later, doctors could still not explain why she died. She was fine, her husband said. He spoke to her on the phone just ten minutes before he got home from work and recalled the last thing he said to her was “I love you.”

A friend of this woman’s said she read her Facebook post on Sunday, the day before she died. It read that she was hanging her laundry outside and enjoying the beautiful weather on a lovely December day. She was just living her life, hanging her laundry, enjoying the oddly warm weather.

And, once again the news reported stories tonight covering the countless numbers of shootings in the city. The senseless deaths of many young people who have yet to even know what their future could have been. Many simply found themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Something came to mind today with all these stories bouncing around in front of me.

A couple of years ago this friend of mine named Gina contacted me out of the blue on Facebook. We had not talked for nearly 20 years. At one time we saw each other every day. We had such a great friendship but then life changed and I went one way and she went another. So, when she found me on Facebook I was thrilled. She asked to meet for lunch and we met and had a wonderful conversation about the last 20 years of our lives. We laughed about silly things and talked about old friends and funny moments.

She asked me why we had stopped being friends and asked if she had done something to ruin our friendship. I said of course not. And I recall now having to have to reassure her that she never did anything wrong or hurtful to me.

She also told me that she was dealing with breast cancer, but said that she was at the end of her treatment and was recovering. She really downplayed the whole thing and led me to believe she was on the upswing.

We parted ways that day with a big, warm hug and promised, for sure, we’d see each other again soon.

Well we never did keep that promise.  We never even talked on the phone, not even on Facebook.

About a year later, another friend called me to say Gina had died.

The next time I saw her was at her funeral.

There are so many people I think of often. Friends who I truly love and care about and miss, but don’t see or even talk to as much as I’d like. The reasons are  real and common – they live far away, or have the details of life keeping them running in a thousand different directions each day. And I too have a full schedule of life obligations.

But stories like planes falling from the sky, bullets flying through the air and unforgiving illnesses unexpectedly stopping the beating of a friend’s heart, remind me that I need to do better.

So for all my dear friends who read this, who I have not spoken to lately, please know I love you and I will try and do better. For those of you who do not know me, but have friends you have not seen or spoken to in a while, maybe this story will remind you to do a little better too.

Because when I got that call that Gina died, and realized that we had not kept our promise…..  . It was just too late.

Share, like, comment. See you next week.

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Amanda Marrazzo's avatarAmanda Marrazzo

I have to say what I am about to post this morning is not anything I was considering writing about. But I read this on Facebook this morning and my heart sank for this stranger and it just didn’t feel right to ignore the feeling.

How would you feel if you woke up this morning and read this on your Facebook wall?

 “***** you are a piece of excrement…feces…the lowest form of life possible. You are the result of pedophile rape, a nasty bloody discharge on a Kleenex nobody wants. There is no lower form of like than your nasty, disgusting black a**. I hope you suffer a horrendous death from sickle cell, AIDS, or some other painful demise which only you could deserve. Rot in f****** hell (person’s name deleted here) you filthy piece of s***……”

This is an actual comment I just read on some celebrity’s page. I…

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The Bad Celebrity and Facebook

I have to say what I am about to post this morning is not anything I was considering writing about. But I read this on Facebook this morning and my heart sank for this stranger and it just didn’t feel right to ignore the feeling.

How would you feel if you woke up this morning and read this on your Facebook wall?

 “***** you are a piece of excrement…feces…the lowest form of life possible. You are the result of pedophile rape, a nasty bloody discharge on a Kleenex nobody wants. There is no lower form of like than your nasty, disgusting black a**. I hope you suffer a horrendous death from sickle cell, AIDS, or some other painful demise which only you could deserve. Rot in f****** hell (person’s name deleted here) you filthy piece of s***……”

This is an actual comment I just read on some celebrity’s page. I don’t know this celebrity or his/her work at all. I am not exactly sure what they  have done that has drawn out this sort of hateful comment.

Whatever happened to what we learned as children? “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.”

I deleted the name for this person’s privacy, respect and out of pure empathy and sadness for whatever this person, the target of this anger, is going through. They are clearly not in a good place and this ugly comment, which I pray they never read, is only going to sink him/her deeper into his/her own self-loathing.

Then there was this on the same person’s page:

“I am praying for you (name deleted)…..that’s real talk. Some of your (work) is on some deep conscious and I can appreciate your mind ……God is able to do ALL things……ALL things.”

And there was this, though these types of comments, I’ll admit, were hard to find:

(Name deleted) “… hang in there where ever you are.”

I saw one incident that this person committed and it was ridiculous and mean. Absolutely, I am not excusing the bad behavior. But,  I could see from the video there was something wrong with this person. He/she is clearly troubled and in need of some help, support, love. I think their behavior is the outside expression to what they are feeling inside about themselves and their life.

It can be hard to love or care about people like this person. I know.  But truth is there are so many more people like him/her out in the world than those who are confident, loving and vested in themselves and others.

Truth is, we are one super large community and when one of us is hurt we are all hurt. And we all show our hurt in different ways. Some have people to love them through the hurt and pain so they don’t lash out against others, but more often, many do not. Many are alone with their personal demons and self-loathing.

I don’t even know this person, but the hateful comments are not going to help them to become better, more loving. They only confirm what they are already feeling about themselves. He/she does not feel loved, worthy, cared for, valued. These are the greatest gifts we can give to another human being.

When we see people down, ugly and nasty as they can be, let’s remember at one time they were someone’s little, gentle, innocent infant. That baby was only needing love and kindness. Maybe this person, this celebrity,  is who he/she is today because he/she never received that love and kindness. Who knows.

This person is young, there is still a chance they will realize there is a better, more loving way to go through life.

I do hope he/she reads more of the positive messages on Facebook, though as I said they are hard to find.

So, then what does that say about the authors of the nasty comments?

I know it’s hard, but we need to love those who seem the least deserving, or even accepting of love.

I think when people are in the worst stages of their bad behavior, they are truly begging, screaming out for our love.

They are like infants again and all they need is a warm, soft place to fall.

Please, let’s all do better.

Like, comment, share and see you next week!

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Winnie has been adopted!

I am so relieved!! A friend of mine went to the Petco in Algonquin yesterday and asked about Winnie. She learned that the little pup had been adopted!! Yay for Winnie! I told Minnie right away and she was very happy her sister had found her own group of humans! Miracles do happen!!

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Minnie and Winnie

So as I write tonight’s post, my little rescue puppy, Minnie, is curled up next to me. My other tad-bit bigger rescue pup, Lucy, is lying peacefully, warmly and safely on the other couch.

The little kitty I rescued – the last kitten in a cold cage that I stumbled upon at this pet supply shop in Crystal Lake Illinois eight years ago, is sound asleep under the Christmas tree. She is there under that tree every Christmas season. I think she loves the warmth of the lights and the seclusion of the tree’s branches. And I Iove seeing her there so peaceful and safe.

Earlier this week I logged on to a local shelter’s website. I do this sometimes just to see the dogs and cats, puppies and kittens, out there waiting for homes….Waiting for people to snuggle up against on a chilly night and someone to provide warm shelters to lay under, or a home where there is a safe, familiar nook to climb into – food, water, the basic comforts of life…….

I don’t know why I  visit these sites, as I know I cannot bring anymore pets into this home.

So to make up for it, I care diligently for my own rescue pets, give money freely to animal rescues like PAWS and the Humane Society of America. Whenever I am in Petco or PetSmart, I give money to local animal shelters.

I often tell my husband to sell our beautiful home in this lovely, manicured  subdivision and buy me a crap, floppy house out on a large lot of farmland so that I can provide a home to all the dogs and cats in shelters, in desperate need of a loving home.

Aside from all of that, here is why I am writing this entry tonight. When I adopted  Minnie from Help A Pooch rescue in Algonquin Illinois there was another puppy there….I hate to even write this….It was Minnie’s sister, Winnie. I already had a dog and a cat at home.  Further more, I was told that Minnie and Winnie, who each were rescued from a “hoarding situation” had already been in separate living situations for months. I was told that Winnie would be adopted in no time and that I should not feel bad about adopting one, and not the other.

That was in February 2012. Now in November of 2012, I was looking at animals up for adoption with the McHenry County Animal Control……I saw Winnie.

My heart aches. I do not write this just for the sake of this post ……. I feel horrible.

I read once that if you rescue a pet from a rescue, adoption or animal control facility you actually save the lives of two pets. You save the life on the one you take home and the one that you make room for by bringing the one home.

Adoption/rescue groups get their animals sometimes from “kill shelters”… This means if you adopt a dog or cat from an adoption group, you are likely saving that dog or cat from death.

Please give a Christmas gift to one who truly does not have many options.

Picture yourself or a beloved family member, even your adored family pet, in a cold cage…innocent, waiting, wondering, hoping, wanting to curl up against someone or lie peacefully under your Christmas tree.

So please, I beg, someone adopt a pet rather than buy an expensive designer pet from a private breeder or puppy mill.  And, really, if you want an adorable, loving, sweet, kind, “Malchie” go see Winnie at http://www.petfinder.com. I can tell you firsthand, she comes from a good family! 🙂

Winnie: Maltese, Dog; Algonquin, IL

Please comment, like and share your stories of pet rescues with me!

See you next week!

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Never Land

Unfortunately, we don’t live in Never Land, and they grow up.

This was quite a weekend.

My oldest daughter, Emily, turned 17 on Saturday, Nov. 17, her golden birthday! And she spent her birthday on stage playing an Indian in Peter Pan. She was on stage on her birthday and I know she would not have wanted to be anywhere else on this planet. I was so happy for her.

Peter Pan, about the boy who never grew up, the three children, Wendy, John and Michael, who trusted this boy and without any sense of fear, flew away with him to a mysterious land, danced with Indians and fought Pirates.

And the mother of the three children waited in their bedroom near the oversized window from which they flew into the night sky with Peter. Oh how she longed for their return. From the way the story goes it seems like it was years that their mother faithfully waited for her children to return. The children’s flustered father went to close the oversized window one night and the mother snapped! She commanded him to never, ever close the window because one day her children might return home. He promised to never, ever close the window.

Emily is about a year and a half away from leaving home for college. Abby is just a few quick years behind her. After college they will likely be on their own in their own homes or an apartment somewhere…… They will both someday, in a sense, fly away to some mysterious land, fight with pirates, dance with Indians, and hang out with some young man.

I will be like the mother of Wendy, John and Michael.  I’ll never close the window just in case they come back home. Our window will always be open and I will always be here for them to return, no matter how far away they fly, and I know they will fly far.

Share, like, comment. See you next week!

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Baby, it’s cold outside!

Oh it’s cold today!

I took the dogs for a walk and felt the chill deep into my bones. My little pup Minnie was shivering as the wind nearly blew her off her tiny paws. 

As I sit here now warming up under a big fuzzy blanket on my couch, sheltered from the wind I hear screeching outside my windows, I wonder about those who cannot escape the chill today or the cold winter about to visit here in the Midwest.

This change in the weather makes me think about those who will sleep on the streets tonight, or seek shelter in the woods, along the rivers and railroad tracks, in a box, or in a dirty alley. 

I’m certain that when these people, finding themselves down on their luck today, were little kids they never said: “When I grow up I’m going to be homeless!”

No, I’m sure that they like all of us, had dreams that somehow became sidetracked. Many likely have just recently found themselves homeless, due to a job loss, the downturn in our economy, a natural disaster, an illness, a death, an addiction, a mental affliction. Something certainly unplanned and undeserved.

We cannot judge those we see on the street asking us for money. We have not walked in their shoes. We have no idea what led them to their grim circumstances. I believe that we are all just a paycheck or 2 or 3 away from where they sit.

So I have a plan. I have $100 and I am going to find one person I can help out. I will give it to that one person and ask only that they use it to help themselves in a positive way and then when they are able, pay it forward. I know it is so cliche’, we have all seen the movie by now, and it has been done or said a zillion times. But this is MY first time saying it and committing to do it. 

I’d love for you all to join me in this “Project of Goodness” and report back. Tell me what you did with $100 to help another human being, a stranger in need.

Because I believe we are all connected, and we all owe it to each other to look out for one another and step up when we see the need. Now, I know I can’t help everyone, and $100 is not a ton of money, but it is what I can afford to take from my family. And I hope I find that one person to help who will make the right choice with the $100. 

I don’t have a lot, but I have more than that daughter, son, aunt, uncle, mom, dad, grandpa, grandma, or US Veteran sleeping out in the cold, night air tonight.

Please join me in this and let me know your story! I know it will be fun and inspiring for everyone.  If you cannot part with $100, do what you can. Let’s agree to report back here by Jan. 1, 2013. Or you can email me at ermarr@comcast.net or Facebook me! 

Share, like, comment and happy hunting! 

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My glimpse of heaven

The view down to the Valley where all of the week-end wedding events occurred.

I think I went to heaven this weekend.

No, not a scary near-death experience, but I traveled with my family to a place that I cannot describe to truly make you feel the awesomeness of its beauty.

I was with people – many of whom I had just met and others I knew, but had the opportunity to get to know a little better.  Everyone was kind, sweet, beautiful …. authentic.

There were very few electronics, aside for folks taking pictures and sharing them on social media. There were lengthy, meaningful conversations, not just quick one and two word answers. But real conversations among people, many whom were meeting for the first time. People sharing stories of their lives, feelings and experiences. People really talking and laughing and genuinely engaging with one another. People from all sorts of backgrounds, ages, education, careers and places.

We were at a family wedding in N. Carolina. We stayed on this beautiful farm surrounded, almost protected, by the Blue Ridge Mountains. I felt so removed from the rest of the world.

It felt like no wrong could be done here. It felt as if we were all safe on this preserved, mosaic patch of earth. We were all there because we were selected to be there, through the love of the kind and generous couple being married.

Nicki and Ben stood in front of us all, about 140 people from all over the country– as they have made dear friends in every place they have traveled in their lives. She was glowing in love and lace and the anticipation of her new life path with her handsome young groom. They stood near a babbling brook (yes it was babbling) and a dear friend married them and she spoke of love and kindness. So many people present and all you could hear were their words exchanging loving self-authored vows, the trickling river, birds and the breeze.

I felt the spirits of those loved ones who had passed on too soon, including the bride’s own parents, my father-in-law and the groom’s relatives. They were there. They were protecting us all, bringing a warmth and burst of sunshine to the day, all in the name of goodness and love. They wrapped their arms around the bride and groom.

It felt as if not one person among us was a stranger. We all came together for this sweet couple and we all became friends. Nicki and Ben made a promise to each other while committing us all, if only for this one beautiful weekend in heaven.

I think this weekend was a glimpse into what God intends for all of us, in every nook of this world, not only on a given weekend for a special occasion, but always.

I’m home now, back in the hectic suburban duties of work, kids, house cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, and noise and cars, lots of cars…. But I still feel the love and goodness that created this weekend and that I was so lucky to have been able to witness and absorb. It reenergized me and my own relationships and reminded me that there is so much good in this world. And I have so much to be thankful for.

Thank you Nicki and Ben.

Nicki and Ben share their vows with one another.

Have you ever felt you were in heaven, surrounded by natural beauty and the kindness of strangers who turned friends?

Please share, like, comment. See you next week!